Chocolate Milk
by Rinata Kuiichi
Summary: Full of yaoi and creamy chocolate milk. Contains some foul language and sexual innuendos.


"Jun, give me the chocolate milk, or I swear on my zanpacto I will kill you, bring you back to life, and repeat the process over and over again." said Mika, glaring at the blonde neko. The young blonde frowned and looked at the tall glass of deliciousness. She never got the stuff in the Seireitei, only because Toushiro never allowed her to have anything with chocolate. Jun groaned and rolled off the couch onto the floor, lying on her stomach. Her tail twitched back and forth, and Mika looked down at her book, but couldn't concentrate. "Would you quit?" she finally said, irritated to the point of no return. "Get on the computer or somethin', please. It's unlocked."  
>Jun groaned and army-crawled to the computer desk, and sat in the computer chair with her feet tucked under her. Suddenly, she heard Jun break out into fit after fit of crazed giggles, snorting a few times. The hell...?<br>"What's wrong with you?" she finally asked and Jun turned around to look at Mika, face red as a candied apple.  
>"N-nothing," said Jun and snorted.<br>"What are you reading now?" asked Mika and she rubbed the bridge of her nose before standing up and walked over to the computer.  
>After a few minutes, her jaw dropped and she soon had to bite her lip to keep from cracking up.<br>"Oh, my God..." she gave into the laughter and fell to her knees in hysterics, Jun following soon after at Mika's reaction.  
>"A-and the c-chocolate milk...AHAHAHAHAHA!" laughed Jun and she snorted. By accident, but that didn't stop Mika from cracking up some more.<br>"C-Can't b-b-breathe!" she gasped for air like a fish, her cheeks hurting. "Drink..." she reached for her glass of chocolate milk, and took a big gulp, before Jun snorted again and all the milk came out of her nose.  
>"Jun, you idiot!" she set down her glass shakily, before she could spill anymore and tried to stand up.<br>"God," she whispered, trying not to laugh again, "I need to calm down." She looked at Jun, who looked back, and then both of their gazes traveled to the glass of chocolate milk...  
>Uncontrollable laughter ensued, until both girls heard the front door open.<br>"Shoot! Hehe, g-get up Mika!" giggled Jun, and tried to get the older girl to stand up.  
>"Hey girls, we're back!" yelled a male voice, and they heard 5 pairs of footsteps coming up the stairs. Jun ran into the kitchen and grabbed a paper-towel to try and wipe up the milk mess.<br>"Quicker picker upper, Bounty~!" she sang and snorted again, clutching her hurting sides and stomach.  
>"N-no! Bad s-st-stomac-AHAHAHAHA!" she slipped on the milk mess, landing face first onto the hard kitchen floor.<br>"What is going on here?" yelled Tatianna, as the 5 walked into the room. Tatianna, Renji, Rukia, Toushiro, and Ichigo, watched Mika stand up shakily and turn to the 5, who had just returned from grocery shopping. Ichigo took a step toward the girl.  
>"Mika, what's wrong?" he asked and took another step forward. Trembling, Mika stepped away, backing into the kitchen. Then, fell over Jun, who had slipped on the milk mess on the kitchen floor, and both went back into uncontrollable laughter.<br>"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" they guffawed and everyone rushed into the kitchen. Except for Tatianna, who got a sweat-drop. Then, she saw the unlocked computer. She sighed.  
>"What kind of Crack fic are they reading...now..." Tatianna went slack jawed at what her two best friends had been reading.<br>"Those little perverts..." she grumbled, and walked into the kitchen, hearing more guffaws of laughter.  
>Jun and Mika were in the corner of the kitchen, and were kept there by the others, who were trying to interrogate them, although it wasn't working.<br>"Just what are you laughing about?" asked an annoyed Toushiro, arms crossed over his chest.  
>"N-n-nothing Shiro-chan, j-just...chocolate m-milk..." Jun cracked up again, and Mika clutched at her stomach. Her sides and face were beginning to hurt like-<br>"Breathe!" said Renji and Rukia, and the girls laughed louder, tears streaming down their cheeks. Jun snorted, which caused Rukia and Renji to begin a fit of giggles.  
>Tatianna shoved through the small group and grabbed the girls by their ears, dragging them out of the kitchen and to the computer desk.<br>"You want to tell me why you're reading a Yaoi crack fic, about your boyfriends?" she asked. Renji and Rukia fell to the ground laughing, and Jun and Mika also laughed, even louder than before.  
>But, on the other hand, Ichigo and Toushiro got the biggest irk marks on the back of their heads. "WHAT THE HELL?" both screamed, and Ichigo grabbed Mika by the wrist.<br>"You..." he growled, getting an evil smirk on his face, making Mika gulp nervously, "I'll show you something better then, Yaoi..." She tried to pull away, when her eyes landed on the half empty glass of chocolate milk. Laughter ensued.  
>"Jaw...hurts...Ichigo and...HELP ME!" she tried to say between laughs, as she was dragged up the stairs. Jun laughed at her friend's misfortune, until Toushiro grabbed her ear.<br>"And you!" he hissed, and she immediately shut up. "You better be lucky that I've confined Rangiku to the office, because if I hadn't..." he trailed off and Jun hid behind Tatianna. She knew what he meant, and Tati wouldn't be there to help. Crud!  
>Then, all five heard a thump and a muffled scream.<br>"No-o-o! Let me *moans* Ichigo!" Everyone's eyes widened at Mika's distraught voice. Both came down minutes later, faces red, and Ichigo had a contented smile/smirk on his face. Mika had a red bite mark on the side of her neck. She grunted when she saw Tati give her a disapproving look. Man...  
>"!" said Jun suddenly and Mika rolled her eyes.<br>"I'm leaving. Jun, you're coming with me." she said and the blonde cocked her head to the side.  
>"Why?" she asked, and Mika snickered again. Tatianna growled and Mika took one look at the purple-haired girl and sprinted out the door, Jun right behind her.<br>"Read the fic if you don't get it." sighed Tati, picking up Mika's abandoned book, and sat on the couch to read.  
>"No thanks, I'm not in to that kind of stuff." said Renji and Tatianna gave him a deadpan look.<br>"No, really? I mean with all those Yuri magazines under the bed in our room, so don't say that crap in front of me." she said and Ichigo snickered at the red red-head. Rukia jumped into the computer chair eagerly, she loved Yaoi, and it was HAWT in her book. As she began to read, Ichigo and Toushiro leaned over her shoulder to read also.

_...as Ichigo pulled the younger boy's shirt off of his body and Toushiro blushed. Ichigo smiled slightly and pulled him to his chest, Toushiro looking up at the tall Soul Reaper and whispered, "Ichigo..." Ichigo bent down and licked the chocolate milk mustache off of Toushiro's upper lip. Toushiro clutched Ichigo's shirt and stood on his tip toes to claim Ichigo's lips. The strawberry pulled back and chuckled. "You...you teme..." "Little boys need their milk to grow, Shiro-kun..." smirked Ichigo and Toushiro blushed redder. "Shut up!" Toushiro whispered fiercely, glaring up at Ichigo weakly. "Toushiro, Ichi- Oh my," said a female voice and both boys looked at the open doorway to see Momo halfway through the door. She saw the spilt chocolate milk and the half-naked Toushiro hugging a fully clothed Ichigo. "I need to buy more Bounty..." she whispered to herself, blushing madly...  
><em>  
>"I don't get it," said Toushiro, not looking at Ichigo, "it's not funny at all..." Ichigo was just as confuzzled. Ichigo read further on and blushed till he was a dark purple.<br>"Whoever wrote this, I give them many props!" said Rukia and Ichigo whacked her in the head. "Ow!"  
>"Mika's going to the Starbucks at Barnes and Nobles downtown to get some hot chocolate." Ichigo groaned and slipped on his shoes, then stopped.<br>"They forgot to put their shoes back on." he sighed, and everyone got a sweat-drop.  
>"She's gonna try and corrupt Jun you know, Toushiro." said Tati, and Toushiro glared at her.<br>"It's Captain Hitsugaya to you, and I don't care. I'm not going." he said and began walking up the stairs.  
>"'Kay, but don't come running to me when she goes crazy on you." said Ichigo. Toushiro smirked.<br>"I've trained her well enough," and walked up the stairs.  
>"...that sounded kinky." said Renji and sat next to Tatianna.<br>"If Mika doesn't come home tonight, she'll be with me Tati, ok? You know why." said Ichigo and opened the door.  
>"She gets prego, I'm killing you." called Tatianna and Ichigo paused, and then turned to glare at the 3rd seat.<br>"You and Renji should talk..." he growled at them, and walked out of the apartment.  
>"Revenge is gonna be sweet," he smirked and followed the streets downtown.<p> 


End file.
